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[character development] 25 headcanons
01 : Are there any recent/daily thoughts they have about death or dying?
Tonika doesn’t believe in any god or afterlife, but will occasionally, if the fear is getting to her, invent them in her mind. Particular stories will influence the daydream, and she’s fond of coining afterlives where there’s no hell equivalent (because she’s sure if there was one, she’d be heading there). She doesn’t exactly think out all the details and doesn’t dwell on it too often, but sometimes it gets to her, as it might for any character who has taken a life.
02 : Do they believe for every darkness there is a lightness? If not, why?
Tonika believes that there is darkness and there is lightness, but they don’t necessarily need one another. Some things in life are unquestionably dark, and there’s no getting around it, and sometimes there is never a dawn. That doesn’t mean the light side was never there, it just sometimes never shows itself. She’d view her life, even the good parts, as one that is ‘wholly dark’.
03 : Name one thing about the way their emotions work that they despise.
Tonika needs people. She desperately doesn’t want to, as she wants to emulate her father to a T, and he doesn’t need people (aside from one precious exception). She craves validation and support and would be hard pressed to admit it, so she acts like she doesn’t. Whenever she’s rebuffed for said validation, it hurts her more than she lets on.
04 : Would they ever wish upon a falling star? If so, what would they wish?
No, but she’d wish on 11:11 as soon as she’d learn about it, whenever she catches the clock at that exact time.
05 : Describe how they would spend a stormy, overcast/rainy day.
She wouldn’t necessarily stay indoors, unless it was truly abysmal. On stormy days where the storm is truly bad, Tonika would watch it for the roughest parts, occasionally opening her window and getting a deep breath of the rainy air and letting the raindrops hit her before closing it again. On overcast days, it’s business as usual. On rainy days, an umbrella helps.
06 : Storms or clear skies?
Clear skies. You can get more work done without water in the way.
07 : What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable?
Tonika loves the forest, more than a normal human being should. In one of her earliest iterations (and one I’ve somewhat rejected) she viewed the forest as her only mother. Now, she’s not quite so socially inept as she used to be, and doesn’t view the forest as a parental figure, but she does have a spiritual connection with the woods that takes the place of any sort of religion. Trees give life, and the ground absorbs life from the dead to give trees sustenance. A bit of a natural cycle. She’s probably not fond of beach-like nature. Sand and the ocean probably bother her.
08 : List three or more people they would call out for during an emergency.
- Her teacher. Consistently the only person she’s ever relied on ever since she was a baby. He can solve anything, and anything he can’t, he knows a guy for.
- Her (biological) father. He protects her, he knows what to do in almost any harrowing situation. He is safety incarnate and finding him is usually the answer to any problem.
- Her mother, because she knows where to find her father.
09 : What is their typical response to being given orders?
Follow them, usually without question.
10 : Describe a thought or dream that would cause them to have a mental meltdown.
Being sent back to her adoptive father, who’s now suddenly alive and is looking to punish her for running off. The life she lives is now so much better without him, that everything seems too good to be true. She knows that it usually is.
tw: self harm, highlight
11 : Are there any reasons why they would ever think of self-harm? If so, what are they?
Tonika would never self harm in a manner that left her alive. She only makes the jump from ‘stable’ to ‘I’m in a scenario where suicide is an option’. Usually, the latter is in a life or death scenario, but at Ryslig, the thought that she might stay a monster has had her (very idly) consider the idea that she might be better off dead than going home as a kelpie.
12 : Describe a physical action that shows complete trust.
An action like holding someone’s hand would be a good first step, but enough characters hold her hand to drag her somewhere that it’s probably not a good one. Iconically? Tonika doing anything like reaching for someone in a situation where it’s not necessary, like squeezing their hand or hugging them or letting them even within her personal bubble are good ones. Tonika 100% trusts you if she ever goes in for a hug. She wouldn’t even hug her own parents (not that they’d want hugs).
13 : Describe a verbal way they would express complete trust.
Following orders and actions without question is probably a good one, but she’ll honestly do that without having complete trust. Tonika offering comfort to someone is probably a good way to show that, too. She’s going out of her way to reach out for someone, something she’s not really well equipped to do. So going out of her way to do something she knows she might fail at but *has to try* anyway is a good way to show she trusts you enough not to laugh.
14 : Explain how they portray feelings of hostility or dislike.
Leaving. Tonika just *leaves*. She really doesn’t give anyone the time of day if they don’t want to give it to her. If the situation doesn’t allow her to leave, then being met with silence is the next best answer. Social awkwardness is something she’s totally pro at, yep.
15 : What is something that causes them to question themself?
It doesn’t take a lot to get Tonika to question herself, she’s usually quite ace at that. She looks to others for guidance and follows their example, when she’s leading herself (as she’s taught she aught to do), she’s subconsciously emulating someone else. Being stripped down to her own decisions without anyone else’s input leaves her feeling vulnerable and second guessing every option. At Ryslig, she’s questioning herself half the time and trying to emulate her dad the other half.
16 : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?
Nothing. Tonika can be alone with her thoughts for hours upon hours, lying in bed, doing nothing. She’s great at entertaining herself that way, but on nights where it’s truly useless to stay in bed, she can be found cleaning her gun, dismantling and reassembling her guns, cooking, and giving up and returning (uselessly) to bed only to come back in another few hours.
17 : Is there anything about their health they are continuously on edge about? Something they disregard?
There’s a pain in Tonika’s side that she knows absolutely nothing about that has never gone away. She’s had it looked at before but when they found nothing, it was dismissed as growing pains and left alone. It doesn’t bother her most of the time and frankly, can be ignored, but if she’s paying attention to nothing it might surface. On the opposite end, Tonika is always worried about her teeth, and now that Rylsig made all of her old ones FALL OUT to be replaced with sharp fangs, that fear is realized and justified.
18 : Name at least two people who can trust them with their life.
Her father and teacher, for the reasons stated in the emergency question.
19 : Describe a way that will earn affection (whether platonic or romantic) from them.
Tonika does her best when she’s with someone she can tell is the same as her. Or close to the same. Her trust is always hard to give out and she finds comfort in people who are aloof and don’t care what anyone thinks of them. It’s a very strange kind of person to find comforting, but Tonika, with all her social fallacies, does. She’ll gravitate towards people who are hard to impress but don’t exactly shove people away. She can take a hint, ofc! But yeah, one of the easiest ways to earn her affection is to be someone she can respect right off the bat.
20 : Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive.
Being generally creepy, or even inoffensively creepy or overly friendly sets off Tonika’s suspicion radar right away. Friendly people are fine, but people who are too nice (even if they’re only being regular amounts of nice) get treated with distance and questioning. Being forced to go along with someone who is too nice is a one way ticket on the uneasy train, always leaving her with questions as to why she’s going along with it.
21 : Are they prone to violent outbursts or thoughts?
HAHAHAHA… oh. Tonika only has one canon superpower, and it’s basically a berserker button. She’s good at repressing stuff or taking someone’s abuse for a short while, but if you piss her off, and I mean really, beyond the boundaries piss her off, it would snap her into this rage mode where her only thoughts are swift and immediate vengeance. The only time she’s ever done this she ended up killing two boys (the ones responsible for her losing her eye). So Tonika is definitely prone to violent outbursts, moreso thoughts, though. Her thoughts are always violent in a very blasé way. She is always thinking passively about violent outcomes to various situations she finds herself in. She suffers from untreated intrusive thoughts in this sense.
22 : What are their creative outlets?
I like to think she used to do some woodcarving back in the day, but never got good enough to pursue it as an actual hobby. I think her drawing skills end at doodling daisy-like flowers in the margins of paper. So no, she’s not a very creative person and doesn’t need any outlets for it.
23 : Do they tend to rely on words or actions more?
Actions, though she’s been more chatty since coming to Ryslig. She’ll always prefer a combination of words and actions, but believes actions are more powerful and should always speak for themselves most of the time.
24 : Is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? If so, describe a memory this scent brings back.
Tonika is very aware of, but not fond of, the scent of a sterilized clinic. She spent hours upon hours of her life waiting in the waiting room or back room of her adoptive father’s clinic, reading magazines or sitting there staring at the wall. It’s more familiar to her, and sticks out more, than the scent of home. Tonika doesn’t do well in hospitals because they lend themselves far too close to that area, and more than anything she remembers the monotony and dread that came with it. She was never fond of seeing her adoptive father and spending so much time waiting for him to come off his shifts is probably one of her most prominent memories.
25 : Are there any inner demons they can never seem to get rid of? What are they?
See the answer to 21! In addition, Tonika is never really rid of the guilt of killing those two boys. Instead of coming to terms with her crime, she represses it and seems to think burying it and becoming dulled to the sense of guilt over it is a better way to deal with it than even vaguely considering she should turn herself in over it. She would never, and that’s one of her more interesting character flaws.
Tonika doesn’t believe in any god or afterlife, but will occasionally, if the fear is getting to her, invent them in her mind. Particular stories will influence the daydream, and she’s fond of coining afterlives where there’s no hell equivalent (because she’s sure if there was one, she’d be heading there). She doesn’t exactly think out all the details and doesn’t dwell on it too often, but sometimes it gets to her, as it might for any character who has taken a life.
02 : Do they believe for every darkness there is a lightness? If not, why?
Tonika believes that there is darkness and there is lightness, but they don’t necessarily need one another. Some things in life are unquestionably dark, and there’s no getting around it, and sometimes there is never a dawn. That doesn’t mean the light side was never there, it just sometimes never shows itself. She’d view her life, even the good parts, as one that is ‘wholly dark’.
03 : Name one thing about the way their emotions work that they despise.
Tonika needs people. She desperately doesn’t want to, as she wants to emulate her father to a T, and he doesn’t need people (aside from one precious exception). She craves validation and support and would be hard pressed to admit it, so she acts like she doesn’t. Whenever she’s rebuffed for said validation, it hurts her more than she lets on.
04 : Would they ever wish upon a falling star? If so, what would they wish?
No, but she’d wish on 11:11 as soon as she’d learn about it, whenever she catches the clock at that exact time.
05 : Describe how they would spend a stormy, overcast/rainy day.
She wouldn’t necessarily stay indoors, unless it was truly abysmal. On stormy days where the storm is truly bad, Tonika would watch it for the roughest parts, occasionally opening her window and getting a deep breath of the rainy air and letting the raindrops hit her before closing it again. On overcast days, it’s business as usual. On rainy days, an umbrella helps.
06 : Storms or clear skies?
Clear skies. You can get more work done without water in the way.
07 : What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable?
Tonika loves the forest, more than a normal human being should. In one of her earliest iterations (and one I’ve somewhat rejected) she viewed the forest as her only mother. Now, she’s not quite so socially inept as she used to be, and doesn’t view the forest as a parental figure, but she does have a spiritual connection with the woods that takes the place of any sort of religion. Trees give life, and the ground absorbs life from the dead to give trees sustenance. A bit of a natural cycle. She’s probably not fond of beach-like nature. Sand and the ocean probably bother her.
08 : List three or more people they would call out for during an emergency.
- Her teacher. Consistently the only person she’s ever relied on ever since she was a baby. He can solve anything, and anything he can’t, he knows a guy for.
- Her (biological) father. He protects her, he knows what to do in almost any harrowing situation. He is safety incarnate and finding him is usually the answer to any problem.
- Her mother, because she knows where to find her father.
09 : What is their typical response to being given orders?
Follow them, usually without question.
10 : Describe a thought or dream that would cause them to have a mental meltdown.
Being sent back to her adoptive father, who’s now suddenly alive and is looking to punish her for running off. The life she lives is now so much better without him, that everything seems too good to be true. She knows that it usually is.
tw: self harm, highlight
11 : Are there any reasons why they would ever think of self-harm? If so, what are they?
Tonika would never self harm in a manner that left her alive. She only makes the jump from ‘stable’ to ‘I’m in a scenario where suicide is an option’. Usually, the latter is in a life or death scenario, but at Ryslig, the thought that she might stay a monster has had her (very idly) consider the idea that she might be better off dead than going home as a kelpie.
12 : Describe a physical action that shows complete trust.
An action like holding someone’s hand would be a good first step, but enough characters hold her hand to drag her somewhere that it’s probably not a good one. Iconically? Tonika doing anything like reaching for someone in a situation where it’s not necessary, like squeezing their hand or hugging them or letting them even within her personal bubble are good ones. Tonika 100% trusts you if she ever goes in for a hug. She wouldn’t even hug her own parents (not that they’d want hugs).
13 : Describe a verbal way they would express complete trust.
Following orders and actions without question is probably a good one, but she’ll honestly do that without having complete trust. Tonika offering comfort to someone is probably a good way to show that, too. She’s going out of her way to reach out for someone, something she’s not really well equipped to do. So going out of her way to do something she knows she might fail at but *has to try* anyway is a good way to show she trusts you enough not to laugh.
14 : Explain how they portray feelings of hostility or dislike.
Leaving. Tonika just *leaves*. She really doesn’t give anyone the time of day if they don’t want to give it to her. If the situation doesn’t allow her to leave, then being met with silence is the next best answer. Social awkwardness is something she’s totally pro at, yep.
15 : What is something that causes them to question themself?
It doesn’t take a lot to get Tonika to question herself, she’s usually quite ace at that. She looks to others for guidance and follows their example, when she’s leading herself (as she’s taught she aught to do), she’s subconsciously emulating someone else. Being stripped down to her own decisions without anyone else’s input leaves her feeling vulnerable and second guessing every option. At Ryslig, she’s questioning herself half the time and trying to emulate her dad the other half.
16 : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?
Nothing. Tonika can be alone with her thoughts for hours upon hours, lying in bed, doing nothing. She’s great at entertaining herself that way, but on nights where it’s truly useless to stay in bed, she can be found cleaning her gun, dismantling and reassembling her guns, cooking, and giving up and returning (uselessly) to bed only to come back in another few hours.
17 : Is there anything about their health they are continuously on edge about? Something they disregard?
There’s a pain in Tonika’s side that she knows absolutely nothing about that has never gone away. She’s had it looked at before but when they found nothing, it was dismissed as growing pains and left alone. It doesn’t bother her most of the time and frankly, can be ignored, but if she’s paying attention to nothing it might surface. On the opposite end, Tonika is always worried about her teeth, and now that Rylsig made all of her old ones FALL OUT to be replaced with sharp fangs, that fear is realized and justified.
18 : Name at least two people who can trust them with their life.
Her father and teacher, for the reasons stated in the emergency question.
19 : Describe a way that will earn affection (whether platonic or romantic) from them.
Tonika does her best when she’s with someone she can tell is the same as her. Or close to the same. Her trust is always hard to give out and she finds comfort in people who are aloof and don’t care what anyone thinks of them. It’s a very strange kind of person to find comforting, but Tonika, with all her social fallacies, does. She’ll gravitate towards people who are hard to impress but don’t exactly shove people away. She can take a hint, ofc! But yeah, one of the easiest ways to earn her affection is to be someone she can respect right off the bat.
20 : Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive.
Being generally creepy, or even inoffensively creepy or overly friendly sets off Tonika’s suspicion radar right away. Friendly people are fine, but people who are too nice (even if they’re only being regular amounts of nice) get treated with distance and questioning. Being forced to go along with someone who is too nice is a one way ticket on the uneasy train, always leaving her with questions as to why she’s going along with it.
21 : Are they prone to violent outbursts or thoughts?
HAHAHAHA… oh. Tonika only has one canon superpower, and it’s basically a berserker button. She’s good at repressing stuff or taking someone’s abuse for a short while, but if you piss her off, and I mean really, beyond the boundaries piss her off, it would snap her into this rage mode where her only thoughts are swift and immediate vengeance. The only time she’s ever done this she ended up killing two boys (the ones responsible for her losing her eye). So Tonika is definitely prone to violent outbursts, moreso thoughts, though. Her thoughts are always violent in a very blasé way. She is always thinking passively about violent outcomes to various situations she finds herself in. She suffers from untreated intrusive thoughts in this sense.
22 : What are their creative outlets?
I like to think she used to do some woodcarving back in the day, but never got good enough to pursue it as an actual hobby. I think her drawing skills end at doodling daisy-like flowers in the margins of paper. So no, she’s not a very creative person and doesn’t need any outlets for it.
23 : Do they tend to rely on words or actions more?
Actions, though she’s been more chatty since coming to Ryslig. She’ll always prefer a combination of words and actions, but believes actions are more powerful and should always speak for themselves most of the time.
24 : Is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? If so, describe a memory this scent brings back.
Tonika is very aware of, but not fond of, the scent of a sterilized clinic. She spent hours upon hours of her life waiting in the waiting room or back room of her adoptive father’s clinic, reading magazines or sitting there staring at the wall. It’s more familiar to her, and sticks out more, than the scent of home. Tonika doesn’t do well in hospitals because they lend themselves far too close to that area, and more than anything she remembers the monotony and dread that came with it. She was never fond of seeing her adoptive father and spending so much time waiting for him to come off his shifts is probably one of her most prominent memories.
25 : Are there any inner demons they can never seem to get rid of? What are they?
See the answer to 21! In addition, Tonika is never really rid of the guilt of killing those two boys. Instead of coming to terms with her crime, she represses it and seems to think burying it and becoming dulled to the sense of guilt over it is a better way to deal with it than even vaguely considering she should turn herself in over it. She would never, and that’s one of her more interesting character flaws.